Finding support through counselling if your parents have separated is a great way to get some additional independent support but how do you choose a counsellor and how does this fit with Your Direction? In this blog we explain all this and the differences between popular types of counselling so you can find the best fit for you.
What’s the difference between Your Direction and Counselling?
Your Direction provides an opportunity to learn the essential life skills that will help you navigate your parents’ split. You learn from other young adults who get it (because they’ve been there too) in an easy, accessible format with videos and exercises.
Counselling is usually a 1:1 meeting between you and a professional counsellor that goes deeper into individual issues and focuses 100% on your situation and how you are feeling.
The two can work really well together. Your Direction helps you build confidence, connection and practical skills you can apply straight away, while counselling gives you space to spend time on the areas you find hardest or come up against again and again to learn more about yourself and find healing.
How Do You Know If Counselling Could Help?
Counselling can be really helpful if your parents’ separation still affects your daily life, relationships, emotions, or confidence. It can help if you:
- Feel anxious, angry, low, or emotionally overwhelmed
- Struggle to trust people or relationships
- Feel stuck between parents or affected by family conflict
- Have experienced high conflict situations or no longer have contact with one or both parents
- Feel like your family situation has affected your identity or self-worth
- Want help processing difficult emotions in a safe space
A counsellor gives you a neutral, non-judgemental space to explore your experiences with someone professionally trained to help at a deeper level.
Different Types of Counselling
There’s no “perfect” type of counselling for everyone. Different approaches help different people — and finding the right counsellor is often just as important as choosing the right type of therapy.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
CBT focuses on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It helps you identify patterns that may be keeping you stuck.
For example, if your parents’ separation led you to believe “relationships always fail” or “I can’t trust anyone,” CBT helps you challenge those thoughts and develop healthier ways of thinking and coping.
CBT is often practical and structured. It can be especially helpful for:
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Low self-esteem
- Negative thought patterns
- Managing overwhelming emotions
It could be a good choice for you if you like structure and feel you have unhelpful patterns of thinking that are holding you back.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)
EMDR is a therapy often used to help process traumatic or distressing events.. If you’ve experienced intense conflict at home, witnessed arguments, experienced emotional neglect, or gone through painful family breakdowns, EMDR can help your brain process those experiences differently.
You do not always have to talk through every detail of your experience. EMDR works by helping the brain process difficult memories in a safe and structured way, so they become less overwhelming and easier to manage.
EMDR can be particularly helpful for:
- High conflict family situations
- Trauma responses
- Anxiety linked to past experiences
- Panic, fear, or emotional triggers
- Estrangement from a parent
It could be a good choice for you if talking therapy hasn’t felt enough on its own, and you need further help when feeling triggered by traumatic memories.
Child Counselling
Child counselling is designed specifically for children, teenagers and young adults. Sessions may include creative activities, art, games, or storytelling rather than just sitting and talking.
It can help you express emotions you don’t have words for. Don’t be put off by the label, these sessions are not about treating you like a little kid – it just reflects the fact that the counsellor specialises in speaking to young people from age 4 right up to 18 or even 20 in some cases.
It could be a good choice for you if you don’t like the pressure of having to talk or find it hard to explain how you feel in words.
Integrative Counselling
Integrative counselling combines different approaches depending on what works best for you. Rather than using one fixed method, the counsellor adapts sessions to your needs.
This can be really helpful if your experiences are complex or if you want both emotional support and practical coping strategies.
Integrative counselling often supports:
- Relationship difficulties
- Identity and self-worth
- Emotional processing
- Family conflict
- Long-term personal growth
It could be a good choice for you if you would like to explore a range of counselling approaches.
Finding the Right Counsellor Matters
Finding the right connection with a counsellor is important. One of the biggest things to remember is that you do not have to stay with the first counsellor you meet. Sometimes you need to meet a few counsellors before you find someone you feel comfortable with. A good counsellor should make you feel:
- Heard
- Safe
- Respected
- Comfortable being honest
You need to trust and have confidence in your counsellor so if the connection does not feel right, it is okay to keep looking.
Where to look
If you are thinking about trying counselling but aren’t sure where to start, Counselling Directory can help you explore the different counsellors available in your area. It’s there to make finding support feel less overwhelming. Importantly, it only connects you with counsellors who have been independently verified and have provided proof of membership with a recognised professional body, helping to ensure they have the credentials required to practise professionally and safely.