From an early age, life was far from easy. Leo shared their story, reflecting on experiences that shaped them and the lessons they carry today about healing from childhood trauma. “You know, to be honest with you, I know it might sound kind of but I’m glad I went through it, because it’s brought me up to be a stronger
A Childhood Shattered
Leo remembers life before he entered care when he was 4. There were arguments at home and things became so bad it was no longer safe for him and his sister to be at home.
“A fight had broke out between both of them. My dad had felt that it was unsafe for me and my sister to be there. Then basically my mum, as we were leaving the house, my mum decided to smash the window, threw a brick through the window, and it nearly hit me in my head, literally. So then, in the end, it ended up to be no choice but put into care. ” In that moment, his sense of safety and stability was lost, and a new, uncertain chapter began.
Life in Foster Care
Although life in care was not simple, he and his sister moved between various foster homes. Eventually, with one foster home, Leo did find a sense of belonging and care that had been missing. “We were put into care, put into foster care homes broke down. We were separated, me and my sister for a bit, and then me and my sister got put into another foster care home together, and then from there, went into another foster care home. But my sister stayed at that one, I moved to a different one and stayed with they were the longest foster carers I was with. You know, I treat them as my nan and my granddad, because, you know that that’s the bond I had with them. I’d say, two weeks of being there, I settled in, I felt comfortable. I met the family. You know, they all support the same football team as me, so that probably made us bond even more.”
Broken Family Ties
Despite the support of foster carers, Leo’s relationship with his birth parents remained fractured “And you know, it, I sit here and I think, like, if it wasn’t for them, I probably wouldn’t be as strong as I was today. I mean, obviously there’s a lot of effort getting put in from myself, but I can’t sit there and say any efforts come from my mum and my dad, because even till this day, like my mum’s now, got a restraining order put on me for five years and saying that I was stalking her when it wasn’t that at all, it was literally I just wanted a relationship with my mum and my dad just don’t want nothing to do with me for many years now. So it was, it was really rubbish, but as it got on, I just managed to deal with it like even to this day.”
He described the emotional toll this had taken: “Now I don’t even think about it. I just get on with my life. So what they’ve shown me is not how to treat my my kids, you know, but it made me feel quite depressed, quite suicidal, quite low in life. Like, what was the point of them making me if they just gonna get, like, treat me like this, like they’re bringing me into a planet where I’ve had to bring myself up because they couldn’t be asked to do it and not and just be civil.”
Lessons Learned and Strength Gained
Reflecting on these experiences, Leo emphasised the resilience gained from the hardships he has faced “You know, to be honest with you, I know it might sound kind of but I’m glad I went through it, because it’s brought me up to be a stronger and a better person.”
His experiences have shaped his outlook on parenting and relationships. “I feel like, I’m glad I’ve kind of gone through it to then know how not to treat my kids when they come, how not to treat, you know, people in general, you know, and not just my kids, like just anyone in general, like any loved one.”
Coping Mechanisms and Advice
Leo shares the strategies that helped him manage stress and maintain mental health: “I’d personally just say, you know, take time look after yourself, and don’t sit there and blame yourself like it’s your fault, because them having A split up it’s not your fault, you know, that’s to do with them. And at the end of the day, I sat there and blamed myself when my parents split up because I thought that me and my sister were just putting too much pressure on me breathing exercises.”
One technique he found particularly helpful was simple breathing exercises: “Taking a big, deep breath in, holding it for five seconds, and then letting it out, and then constantly doing that for about five minutes, I’d say. And you you’ll notice a big change. You’re a lot calmer. You’re thinking about your feeling about you’re feeling better in yourself, in a way, to the point where you’re chill, and you can approach it now, and you can say to yourself, right, cool. How do I approach this one? I’m in a calm mindset now. How do I approach this one?”
Through everything Leo endured, he highlights the importance of resilience, self-care, and understanding that parental conflicts are never the child’s fault. His story is a reminder that even in the toughest circumstances, support, self-awareness, and perseverance can help build strength and hope for the future.