Michael explains what its like finding your voice after trauma. “All scars prove is that you’ve been through battle…and if you’ve made it out the other side, that makes you strong.”
When everything changed
Michael remembers the moment he realised something was deeply wrong at home. “My parents used to sometimes argue. In my head, I thought that arguing was just very normal — and I think it is to some degree. But this seemed a bit different, because it was very emotionally charged.”
The more he listened, the more he knew his world was shifting. “I could tell that, oh my gosh, something catastrophic was going down in that moment, and it was going to impact my household forever. I was just overwhelmed, really. I was in shock. I couldn’t even believe some of the things I was hearing.”
The heartbreak of betrayal
He was 15 when his parents separated, an age when he least expected it. “At that time, you don’t expect things like that to happen so late, because you’ve grown up most of your life with your parents. It was groundbreaking for me.”
What made it harder was the nature of what had happened. “It was quite a shameful experience for myself, because my dad had an affair — and the affair was very close to home. It involved other family members. It didn’t just affect my mum, it affected the whole family.”
The betrayal cut deep. “It wasn’t like it happened outside the family. It was peculiar because of who was involved and how it affected us. It was devastating.”
Feeling alone with the truth
Michael carried the burden largely by himself. “I did feel like I navigated that by myself. My brothers weren’t around at the time, and I was the only one home. Even telling them — I could never find the right words to depict the reality of what it was like experiencing that.”
His empathy for his family runs deep. “It hurt me as a child, but for my mom, my heart breaks for her every time I think about how she must have experienced it.”
And for his brothers, there’s a different kind of sadness. “My heart breaks for them too, because they didn’t get to see it unfold. They were just told about it. It’s like when someone spoils a movie for you — you’d rather see it happen than be told, because it takes away from your understanding.”
The silence that delayed healing
For years, Michael didn’t talk about what happened. “For a long time, I didn’t like speaking about what I’d gone through. The more I started to meditate on it, the more I realised some things I had internally processed — but never spoken about.”
He now understands that silence can hold healing back. “There’s a certain point of healing you can reach in your mind, but until you actually allow things to come out of your mouth, part of that healing is delayed.”
Finding his voice through Your Direction
Participating in Your Direction became a turning point. “Something I’ve learned through this entire process is that speaking — what you say — matters. The final word you choose to have on your experience is your choice, and it matters.”
He realised that reclaiming his story was part of recovery. “What you choose to take is what you choose to take. No one can tell you how your story was. You decide how your story was. It’s your direction. It’s your directive.”
Reflecting before speaking gave his words strength. “When I decided to speak, I knew what I wanted to say because I’d spent so much time thinking about it. If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have even known what to say to myself.”
Choosing strength and hope
Through the programme, Michael learned to embrace honesty and hope. “A lot of times when people ask, ‘Are you okay?’ we say, ‘Yeah, I’m fine’ — but we’re lying. Doing Your Direction helped me to know that even if I don’t feel okay now, I will get through this.”
He sees life differently now. “Life is full of crisis, ups and downs — it’s just part of the journey. Your Direction was like a mirror. I’m not a victim. I’m a victor.”
And he holds a powerful belief about healing. “All scars prove is that you’ve been through battle. And if you’ve been through battle and got out the other side — doesn’t that make you a conqueror? Doesn’t that make you a warrior? Doesn’t that make you strong?”