How to make two homes work when your parents have separated
When your parents separate, it’s normal to live in two different houses. It might feel weird or unfair at first — after all, it wasn’t your choice. But your parents have set it up this way because they both love you and want to stay involved in your life.
“If you live in two different households, you’ve got two different sets of rules as well, different bedtimes, different rules for TV, different food, you know, you have to be quite adaptable. And that’s quite a lot to get your head around” Charlie (Watch young people talking about how they adjusted to their new normal)
Here are some tips to help make it easier:
#1. Speak up
You have the right to share how you feel and what you need. You might not always get exactly what you want, but your voice matters — so don’t be afraid to talk to your parents about your living arrangements. They are still responsible for making the decisions but it will help your parents make the best decision if you speak to them.
#2 Give it time
It’s a big change, and it might take a while to get used to. Your feelings will go up and down – and that’s okay – but try and be patient and make the best of it.
#3 Stick to the same routine
Try to keep things like bedtime and getting ready for school the same in both homes. Routines will help you feel more settled.
#4 Make both places feel like home
Put up a few posters, choose your own bedding, or leave some of your favorite things at each house. Consider having duplicates of essentials so you can leave one at each home if it’s possible.
#5 Stay organised
Plan ahead of time and keep track of what you need for school, sports and hobbies so you’re not rushing around or forgetting stuff. Maybe make a simple list at the beginning of each week.
#6 Ask for help
Don’t try to do everything on your own. If something’s hard, ask your parents to help you plan and get sorted so you have the right things at the right house.
#7 Pack smart
Keep a bag with things you always want — like chargers, headphones, or favourite clothes — and use a checklist so you don’t forget anything.
#8 Be flexible
Each home might have different rules, and that’s okay. Try to go with the flow while you figure things out, your parents are new to this too.
#9 Use apps to stay on track
There are apps like OurFamilyWizard or 2houses that help you and your parents keep track of plans, school stuff, and more.
#10 Let school know
Make sure your school knows you have two homes, so both your parents stay in the loop.
Living in two homes isn’t always easy, but with a bit of planning, patience, and support, it can work. What matters most is that you feel safe, heard, and loved — in both places.